It's OK If He Falls!

 

So the issue that has been pressing my mind lately is that women, and some men, feel as if a man should have it all together and if he doesn't then he is anything but a man. Here is the problem I have; sometimes a man really and truly needs a push from a strong women. Circumstances are going to arise and some things a man goes through is designed for him to go through with a partner. I have heard countless stories of "If it wasn't for my wife or girlfriend." He won't always be strong. He won't always be wise. He won't always have money. He won't always have the heart to love you. But he can be made or molded into the man you so desire with the help of God. Don't count him out just yet ladies.

Recognize when a man has the characteristics you are looking for (i.e leader, provider, lover) and make sure you help nurture those areas and don't give up on him. I think in order to help lift your partner up you must be as patient as him, as brave as him, and as strong as him. He should appreciate your time and effort you have put into him. Remember we have jobs as women/wives to be the backbone or the support our spouse needs. If he is trying, push him to try harder. Choose your words carefully when he is down. I love the scripture that says "through love and kindness have I drawn thee." Love him and be kind until he is back to his natural state. We all need some kind of help on this road to marriage. Enjoy him. If he falls in an area, embrace it and move forward together.

Quick story. When I was dating my last boyfriend, he lost his job. I didn't get mad or look down on him. I immediately helped him look for a second job. I even put in a good word for him at my current job. I used my resources and with my help he was blessed with another job. Some times all it takes is a push.
One more thing, don't put expectations on a man who is not cable of meeting them. For instance. I date a guy that is currently 2 years younger then me and he is still in college. I can't expect a house, car, new wardrobe etc. because he is not able of "taking care of me" in those areas yet. Now I do expect to be given gas money, dates paid for, my car washed, and attend church with me. As he grows, so should your expectations.

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Remeber To Slow Down!

Remember to PUMP YOUR BREAKS!

If you are anything like me, you fall easy and love hard. There is nothing wrong with that. Love is a beautiful gift and many people wish they could love as easy as myself.I find myself sitting at my work desk trying to figure out why he doesn't feel what I feel. I ask myself am I crazy? It's only been a couple of months but love has nothing to do with time.  So I say to you, when you find yourself developing feelings faster than your partner, slow down. Timing is everything.

 

 Reevaluate yourself to remain focus on the things of God. The bible says, in the Book of Corinthians, love is patient. Your spouse may not be ready to love YOU yet because there may be some things he still has to work out with God, or is not capable of loving YOU the right way. It's apart of life. What I encourage all women like myself to do is to do whatever it takes to remain focus on the things of God. Focus on your finances, health, faith, or education. If this man is for you then allow God to show him how to love you. Remember he has to love you (his wife) as Christ loved the Church. God will take care of him! I am firm believer!

 

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The Truth About Jacob Rachel & 7 Years

I am super excited to share my revelation about the story of Jacob and Rachel. I was doing some self evaluating and I asked God is there a story in the bible that I can relate too as far as my current relationship. He told me to go read the story about Jacob and Rachel. So I thought great another story about waiting ugh. But to my surprise, it helped me understand why certain types of men come in certain types of women lives. I wrote this blog because sometimes women meet their husbands and they don't have the million dollars yet, or the big house, or the relationship with God yet, and God had to let me know that He still can get glory out of him. I hope this blog helps some young lady who is looking for answers.

So first a little bible study. I'm not going to lie, when God said go read the story I processed my thoughts to remember if their was a book in the bible named Jacob lol. Please don't laugh! I was wrong! So guess what I did!?! Googled it! Its actually in the very first book of the bible, Genesis! To get a better understanding of Jacob I wanted to know of his descendants. I started my studies in chapter 24 "Isaac and Rebekah." Basically this chapter is about Abraham, which is Isaac's father, giving Isaac his blessings if he is obedient to God. I do encourage you to read the whole chapter :) Moving forward, after Abraham's death, Rebekah had twin boys named Esau, which means hairy, and Jacob, which means he grasps the heel (a Hebrew idiom for he deceives) Genesis 25:24-26. The bible states that Esau became a skilled hunter, a man of the open country. Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents Genesis 25:27-28. Fast forward, after Jacob steals Esau birthright and tricks his father for Esau's blessing, Jacob was commanded by his father to go to Rebekah's father house and take a wife for himself. It was there he met Rachel at the well.

Jacob: At this point in the story, Jacob is a flawed man but nonetheless he is blessed. He is a thief and a manipulator. A lazy man if you will. Now, I'm not saying the guy I date is all of this but he has a past that would make other women run the opposite way. Keep in mind that Jacob has the blessings of his father and the Lord but they haven't yet manifested. So in essence he has nothing but the clothes on his back. I found myself dating guys who don't have a car or have put their degree on hold. I don't have a problem with it as long as he is working to acquire these things. Jacob is also not skilled at anything. They guy you decide to let in your life may not have that dream job just yet. He may be working at McDonalds making minimum wage. Just make sure he is working hard to move up or move out of the workplace he's in.

Rachel: What preachers leave out this story is that when Jacob met Rachel, she was a shepherd. A shepherd is a person who tends, herds, feeds, or guards herds of sheep.The duty of shepherds was to keep their flock intact, protect it from predators. She was well disciplined and hard working. This almost sounds like the strong independent women we try to become today. She also was doing a man's job. The bible says Rachel was beautiful. In my previous relationship I was the bread winner for a while. I had everything together. I didn't want or need for anything. You may be more established than your partner, IT'S OK!

7 Years: Jacob immediately went to work for his uncle. After a month of working, he asks his uncle for his daughter, Rachel, hand in marriage. It was Jacob who proposed to work for 7 years. 7 is the number of completion. God created the world in 7 days. Well why would Jacob chose the number 7? I believe it's because as a man he was not complete. He had no prior work history, no skills, no money, and nothing to offer his wife to be. In addition, his own wife was better than him at his job. So, in order for him to be considered on her level, it would most likely take him 7 years to learn everything she knows. Because Jacob loved Rachel, he was willing to get himself together and put in the time to become complete or whole.

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Can't Force God in Him

I like to believe that sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with. I'm reminded of the lyrics by Whitney Houston "Everyone falls in love sometimes. Sometimes its wrong and sometimes its right." God gives us the freedom to love. I know for me, I don't always fall for the typical "church boy" but I always meet them in church lol. As a Christian woman I understand the importance of being unequally yoked. Truth is, dating is more spiritual than you think. It is very important to me that the guy I chose to let in my life is or becomes spiritually sound. I have always dated guys that were not on the same level as me spiritually. The mistake I made was trying to force them to get closer with God by making them pray with me, or reading the bible together. God spoke to me concerning my dating habits and he said that it's not my job to bring him closer to me. He reminded of the scripture that says "through love and kindness have I drawn thee." And so I am learning to love and show kindness as my partner continues his walk with God. I also have to make sure my walk is pure and represents God. Who knows? I might be the woman he needs to push him deeper into God but I have to make sure my relationship with God continues to grow. Most Christians will tell you you need a man that can bring you closer to God. In reality God should be bringing you closer to him and you have to want it. Understand your place in a mans life. I guarantee if you allow God to work through your partner and you stay before his throne, God will perform a miracle in his life. Only God can truly change a man. Remember it was God and Adam before Eve was created. I'm learning to be patient and wait on God. Trust the process. It will be worth the wait!

 

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Does a Man "Want" or "Looks" for you?

Find out if the man you are interested in dating "wants" or is "looking". I realize that there is a difference in a man that wants and a man that is looking for you. A man that "wants" a good woman or wife will be complacent in his dating strategies. He will not look to please you because he "wants" you to please him. He expects everything will come to him. These are men, or boys I should say, that will allow women or young ladies to chase them.  But a man that is "looking" is active in his dating because he will ask questions, or do things that will make you feel special. He will chase you. I asked the guy that I am dating what kind of woman is he looking for and he replied with "I am looking for".. There will be a difference in the treatment and mindset of a man. Do not go into a relationship blind. Ask questions. Remember the bible says a man that finds a wife finds a good thing! He should be looking!

 

 

I wish I could expand on this more but I really had to get this out of my head. I have to spend more time reflecting on past relationships to give more. But thanks for reading :) LIKE COMMENT SHARE

A Push for Women

Think it not strange that there is a movement to "push" or "birth" women in this season. If this is a season of acceleration, then you can't be accelerated without a "push" God help me preach! See when God is doing a major move or a special moment he uses a woman. Don't believe me. Ask Mary, mother of Jesus. In order for Jesus to come into this world *insert tongues* He had to be birthed into this world my a Woman. Still don't believe me? Ask Ester. She saved an entire nation of Jews when she was pushed into the kindom (she had no choice). So get ready women of God. He wants to strip you of everything that is not like Him so that you can be accelerated into your destiny! It's your time! Thank Holy Spirit for this revelation. May it touch the hearts of your people #Amen

Dating Your Distraction

Can we all agree that the devil knows what we like? Have you ever been in a relationship that completely changed who you were and by the time you realized it you were at rock bottom? Well that is what the enemy wants! He is out to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) everything that God meant for your good.

When dating, it is important to guard your heart especially if you asked God to give you his heart. God's heart loves all people, but if you cannot carefully discern the intentions of the persons you are interested in dating, then the enemy will play on your mind.

As I have stated before, I told God that the next guy I date I want him to be my husband. Well guess what I did not realize? The devil was listening too. I must admit the signs were there. My guy friends had warned me, even my family. At that time in my life I was a young college student on fire for God. I was doing well in school and had a job. I felt like I was ready and could handle a relationship.

Now the devil knows what type of men I like. Tall, a man in church, athletic, musicians, dreads etc. lol. The last guy I dated was the Pastor's brother but he was nothing like the Pastor lol. It was hard for me to see that he wasn't from God because he was what I had liked. My type! To say the least, we had really good times and really bad times. The relationship ultimately pulled me away from God,

So here are some signs that helped me realize my ex was my distraction:

• When you start to do unholy/unclean things your partner does (ex. unclean music)
• When you are comfortable with sacrificing God for your partner
• If your prayer life has not increased
• When family and friends have noticed a difference in you
• When you stop doing what you were doing before you met your partner
• If you do more arguing then praying and resolving issues
• When you become afraid to take advice because everyone is saying the same thing
• When you have not seen a change for better in your partner

Please be careful in choosing your next partner. God will not send you anyone that will distract you from his love! Be patient! There is no rush! Enjoy being friends and let God handle the rest!

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