Recognize when a man has the characteristics you are looking for (i.e leader, provider, lover) and make sure you help nurture those areas and don't give up on him. I think in order to help lift your partner up you must be as patient as him, as brave as him, and as strong as him. He should appreciate your time and effort you have put into him. Remember we have jobs as women/wives to be the backbone or the support our spouse needs. If he is trying, push him to try harder. Choose your words carefully when he is down. I love the scripture that says "through love and kindness have I drawn thee." Love him and be kind until he is back to his natural state. We all need some kind of help on this road to marriage. Enjoy him. If he falls in an area, embrace it and move forward together.
Quick story. When I was dating my last boyfriend, he lost his job. I didn't get mad or look down on him. I immediately helped him look for a second job. I even put in a good word for him at my current job. I used my resources and with my help he was blessed with another job. Some times all it takes is a push.
One more thing, don't put expectations on a man who is not cable of meeting them. For instance. I date a guy that is currently 2 years younger then me and he is still in college. I can't expect a house, car, new wardrobe etc. because he is not able of "taking care of me" in those areas yet. Now I do expect to be given gas money, dates paid for, my car washed, and attend church with me. As he grows, so should your expectations.
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